Molly Mormon

''She cooks. She cleans. She sews. She even plays the piano. As expected, she's practically perfect in every way.''

Molly Mormon is the stereotypical true-blue Mormon woman.

She is the pinnacle of domestic ability: she cooks, cleans, sews some of her and her family's clothing, and raises all fifteen of her children (who were all named after pioneers, prophets, apostles, and great heroes from various dispensations) as a perpetually pregnant stay-at home-mom. She goes to the temple twice a week with her husband, Peter, her two returned missionary sons and their wives, and her married daughter and her husband.

She upholds some of the highest standards within the church, such as not consuming caffeine, an obsessive commitment to the modesty of women, a fanatic opposition to swearing, a tireless dedication to delivering casseroles to the sick and afflicted, baking cookies for the less active, and only having sexual intercourse for the purpose of procreation of children. Television is forbidden in her home on Sunday, as is going to friends' houses, having friends over, and doing homework, though her children are allowed to watch Church-related videos. Video games are, in her opinion, of the devil, and she refuses to allow her children to play them. Her children are forbidden from having non-member friends, which isn't really a problem because they live in Provo.

She has served as both Relief Society President and Primary President in her ward at various times. In the former, she insists on bringing elaborate centerpieces and printing off intricate handouts whenever she teaches. She has one of the most blaring Primary President Voices you will ever hear, and yet somehow a Relief Society President Voice peeks through.

...You get the picture.